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Nuance In Vanilla Ice’s Music, My Dissertation Abstract
Quick to the point, to the point, no fakin’. Cooking MC’s like a pound of bacon. Hang that motherfucking lyric in the Louvre.
Petcams Expose Pet Masturbation Epidemic
Let’s talk about Fluffy, baby. Let’s talk about she and she.
Sparrows: Dicks of the Bird World
Sparrows are murderous, brutal, mindless killing machines. Are YOU next?
Affordable European Vacationing By Not Being a Predictable Twat
Only predictable, humorless twats from the midwest go to London, Paris, or Rome.
Midwestern Cities Rebrand
To overcome the perceptions people have in the infrequent times they even remember the Midwest exists, cities are planning bold new tourism slogans.
Opinion: Geoffrey Epstein Has a Complaint
Geoffrey Epstein would like to point out out frustrating it is that you learned how to pronounce his name properly in this way. Hey there, folks! Geoffrey here—yes, it’s Geoffrey with a ‘G,’ not Jeffrey with a ‘J.’ And no,…
Columnist: Angie Knuckles on Talent Ejaculate
There’s a crucial window when talent needs to be scooped up before it lands in the wrong place. Talent Displacement can be a tough load to swallow.
WTFAIDI Sarajevo, Bosnia?
Our What The Fuck Am I Doing In series highlights off-the-beaten-path destinations that stretch your dollar and your feeble understanding of your common man. Choosing Sarajevo as your tourist destination is strangely like willingly entering into a scientific experiment where…
Columnist: Brownshirt on the Diabetic Doll
Our columnist Brownshirt, a feces, blood and semen-coated paper tissue found in Hitler’s bunker, on the subject of the new doll with diabetes. As a proud German columnist reared in the hinterland in the 1930s, I often find myself grappling…
Columnist Profile: Rusty Trombone
Rusty Trombones is a dotcom veteran who, like all veterans, either only talks about those experiences or never does.