Our Working Life columnist white knuckles it to work in her 2008 Altima while listening to John Mayer. She worries about our futures so we don’t have to. She’s also secretly sleeping with a married man in Sales [ed note: I know but please remove this before publication].
Ah, the world of HR—where talent acquisition meets the sweet science of displacement. Talent can end up in the places you least expect. Just like ejaculate, when I come to think of it.
Just as there’s an optimal moment for intimacy, there’s a crucial window when talent needs to be scooped up before it lands in the wrong place. It’s all about having the right timing in your hiring schedule—nobody wants to find themselves left with only the sloppy seconds. You know that moment right after—let’s say the situation has culminated? Well, if you’ve not captured the talent when you had the chance, it can get awkward.
Anyone who’s ever dealt with ejaculate knows that prompt and proper disposal is crucial. Similarly, when you realize talent is displaced, you must address it immediately. Do you have a place for those you’re letting go, or are are they now disgruntled candidates with messy exit interviews. Have you ever had someone show up after you’ve just finished? Late-arriving talent can throw quite the wrench in your plans. You’re left holding the bag, so to speak.
In HR, we need to have our networks ready to absorb displaced talent—those connections are our best safeguard against the chaos of talent leakage! While no protection is 100% effective, it’s still so much safer than raw dogging it. Getting ahead of talent placement—measuring retention rates, and staying in tune with employee satisfaction—will go a long way to prevent you from finding yourself in the deep end of talent displacement. Think of it as a cold shower and thinking of Margaret Thatcher.
Talent Displacement is a tough load to swallow. As HR professionals, we must manage displaced talent as responsibly as we handle other sensitive situations. Using humor can help soften the blow, but the reality remains: timing, action, and a good disposal strategy are essential. So let’s all pledge to handle our talent with care—and hopefully keep it from flying around when we least expect it!
