Trum-pee Omen in Midwest Applebee’s

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Applebee’s “happy this news distracts people from thinking about the shit they are putting into their systems”

Damning evidence of the existence of a Donald Trump pee tape has appeared over the urinals in a Gary, IN Applebee’s.

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“I was draining the main vain, you know peeing, when the walls in front of me started changing,” said one diner, who wished to remain anonymous in keeping with the history of people talking about the hideous asswipe who rose to the presidency on the backs of a global pedophilia/espionage cabal.

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“I knew instantly that this was 100% proof of the existence of a pee tape, which is so much more graphic and somehow reassuring than to assume that a global elite has been plotting the overthrow of the “western world’ for decades, having inundated the top ranks of national security, the media, and think tanks.”

“…a global elite has been plotting the overthrow of the “western world’ for decades, having inundated the top ranks of national security, the media, and think tanks.”

In other news, reports of a burning bush in California remind us of the atrocious war crimes the Bush administration committed in our names.

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Satan’s Minions

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