Owner went to store for human foods, seemingly oblivious to doggie needs

As a winter storm approached their home, bulldog Beatrix felt something was amiss.

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“Sure, I can feel it in my bones when a big storm is coming,” she said while licking her own genitalia, “but this time it was something else that was concerning me.”

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That something else was the food situation.

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“The human went to the store and bought more of every kind of food than I’ve ever seen in one place. But those were all things normally not shared with the loyal and sweet dog of the house.”

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A Daily Taint Dog News review of grocery receipts and the food pantry confirmed Beatrix’s worst fears. There was no kibble, and certainly no bits or bits or bits or bits.

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“Sometimes – sometimes – I get some things off his plate if he’s full. A little chicken off the bone. Maybe some rice with light dipping sauce. I even got an onion ring once.”

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This wasn’t even the worst part of the situation.

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“At the best of times he’s cavalier about ordering my food. He gets it online. There are days where the food in my bowl only arrived that afternoon. So with the weather affecting the roads like they expect it to -” Beatrix trailed off there, her lips quivering, her tail at low mast.

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When asked about the dog food situation, the human was astonishingly nonchalant.”Oh, I think the mail will be delivered today anyway. They’ve got all season tires and AWD on those trucks, right?”

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This is a breaking story. In the meantime, keep Beatrix in your thoughts tonight.