What kind of Macchiavelli designed this room?

Having endured broken bouts of sleep all night thanks to a large blue screen hanging overhead that he couldn’t turn off, Midwestern sales consultant Dink Councelman acknowledged a sad reality – he could no longer keep up with hotel innovations.

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“They have these things called moods,” said Councelman, as he fought to open the mini-fridge, “the only mood I wanted all night is one called fuck right off already so I can sleep!”

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When last we checked in with Councelman, he could be seen trying to figure out the faucet situation in what appeared to be the bathroom.