Blog
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20 Is Plenty, But Not to Them
You can’t spell ‘pedophile’ without ‘people’ Pedophiles are rallying against the Twenty is Plenty car speed campaign. Midwestern area NAMBLA head Chuck Goodboy called the new vehicle speed campaign insufficient to truly meet the needs…
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Kiss Arrested For Western Wildfires
Boxset only evidence prosecution should need. Members of the rock band Kiss have been charged and released on bail for allegedly being behind the wildfires burning in the West. “We didn’t realize the real-world implications…
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Kohler Comfort
Blood on urinal makes man think maybe his day isn’t the worst anyone is having. Midwestern dentist Karl Drell slipped into the market’s bathroom for what he thought would be an uneventful urination. As he…
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Man Feels Bad For Defiling Sesame Street
“The jokes came too easy,” laughed Midwestern IT specialist Lance Legweak. “Heh, I said came!” Legweak was referring to a well-intentioned anti-racist campaign by Sesame Street in the wake of the Black Lives Matter protests.…
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Latest Trends in Dog Research
Your happiness < your dog’s happiness; how to keep it that way. My selfless recap of 2020 discoveries into what will make your dog – the best part of your life – happy. The first…
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In the Room With: Pink Floyd
In the flesh? In The Room is our exclusive behind-the-scenes questionably-sourced comprehensive guide to the stories behind the stories of the stories with people so convincing you are sure that they know someone who knew…
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What Does a Savior Have To Do?
“I used to be before the cats, at least,” laments deity. n “I wasn’t aware that Squeeky [sic] had passed on to the next life,” admitted woman’s savior. “Maybe she harbors some resentment about that?”…
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Cool Tools You Can Use
Best-funded internet research project uncovers least inspired website copy ever. Scientific research, in a ground-breaking survey of internet writing of the last 25 years, has uncovered the least inspired website copy ever created. n “Cool…
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Man Communicates Solely Through Yard Signs
Hasn’t talked with another human being this year. In an area full of yard signs supporting #BLM, emergency workers, and school-graduation related congratulations, one yard sticks out: Bert McIlvoy’s. n Like any mediocre white man,…
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Satan’s Minions
Your prostate, our prostate.
