Crimes
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You Done Fucked Up, Ewen
Condemns Whitley sophomore to life of poverty and early death. Midwestern man is claiming ignorance and pleading poverty, unwilling to acknowledge that he is ultimately wholly responsible for the gender wage gap for at least…
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New Series Review: “Pedophile Pete”
Guest written by Johnson Tattler, Midwestern Lead for NAMBLA “Now THAT’s what I call a lunch box!” laughed actor Johnny Quick, while reading the opening line of the opening episode of this heartwarming comedy that…
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20 Is Plenty, But Not to Them
You can’t spell ‘pedophile’ without ‘people’ Pedophiles are rallying against the Twenty is Plenty car speed campaign. Midwestern area NAMBLA head Chuck Goodboy called the new vehicle speed campaign insufficient to truly meet the needs…
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Kiss Arrested For Western Wildfires
Boxset only evidence prosecution should need. Members of the rock band Kiss have been charged and released on bail for allegedly being behind the wildfires burning in the West. “We didn’t realize the real-world implications…
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Kohler Comfort
Blood on urinal makes man think maybe his day isn’t the worst anyone is having. Midwestern dentist Karl Drell slipped into the market’s bathroom for what he thought would be an uneventful urination. As he…
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Satan’s Minions
Your prostate, our prostate.
